When MAN fails to think, HE philosophises...

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~ DavidBissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~ Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~ Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
~ Anonymous

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~ Sam Kinison

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
~ James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2.. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~ Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~ Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
~ Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met..
~ Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~ Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ Anonymous